Being in Timor Leste

Timor Leste
August 21, 2008

The Prayer
“Lead us to a place where we’ll be safe…”

In 2006, when TL blew up because of the violent conflict, one sister played this song in a workshop saying “When things are just so bad in our compound full of IDPs (Internally Displace Peoples), I listen to this song over and over again.” She played the song and then I saw that when the words “Lead us to a place where we’ll be safe” was sung, this was the part she cried the most. My tears fell, too. And from then on, whenever I heard this song, I thought of her and her people and the many more IDPs in the world.

My heart is with the around 100,000 people in Mindanao who are also displaced by the war. So many years spent on building the trust and confidence and relationship between warring parties. So many resources (human and others) already used to push the peace talks forward. Hopes have been built, bridges have been constructed, professionally ethical relationships have been forged… and then WHAM!

My thoughts on this – along the way of years of talking peace, lessons have been learned and incorporated. However, one key lesson that I am not sure if the government has learned is that the peace talk is not the peace process. I am very disappointed because I am proud of the fact that my country is one that has an Office of the Presidential Adviser on the Peace Process (OPAPP) and it is because of this that the government invited the different rebel groups to talk peace with the state as part of the over-all peace process. If only my government focuses as much on the peace process (which is involving the LGUs in working for an environment more conducive for sustainable development and peace which translates to food on the table, money for school, clinics and free health support, the option to allow or not allow mining in one’s ancestral land, sleep in one’s house without being threatened, to walk freely and safe around one’s town)… as on the peace talks….

I believe it is the moral responsibility of the government to ensure that the peace process and the peace talks go well. When I say government, I mean the duly elected leaders from the barangay to the national level because it is their peace plan. We, civil society, are working hard to cooperate with the peace plan because this is our country after all and the plan is the most noble one so far, from the government of this country. Sigh… there seems to be a HUGE disconnect between the national government, its agencies, the local government, local agencies and the over-all PEACE PLAN of the GRP. When can they put their act together? Meanwhile…

My heart bleeds for my people…, emergency aid workers, the parishes and dioceses, the ummah, the religious leaders, civil society workers who are trying to make some sense on what’s happening, the fighters, the national leadership but most of all… the displaced many of whom are being displaced… again! (for the nth time?)...

In my heart is also a sense of smoldering anger… the people who started all of these: Can they sleep comfortably in their homes? Can they eat and not choke knowing there are people out there who are lining up for their daily supply of food? Do they feel a sense of guilt or are they so consumed with their sense of triumph and self-righteousness that guilt has no place in their hearts? Who are the sectors that feed into the conflict? Can they hum happily to themselves on the way to the bank knowing they are gaining so much at the expense of people’s lives?

The most difficult part is that I am not with my people right now. I miss my team back in Davao. I know they are now sitting down with some of our partners, making sense out of the chaos, and I am looking forward to their sharing their analysis with me. I feel proud to belong to a team who unceasingly works with the people in the communities and listens and responds! Keep our hopes burning!!!

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There are less IDPs now in Timor. Many have gone back home. Some say it is because the police have been stronger – before arriving here, I read of how the young people protested against the parliament buying so many luxury cars while the country is still trying to recover and there are many who have no houses to live in, many are still sick, many are still lacking in employment and education. The government allowed them to demonstrate but not to enter into the parliament grounds. The young people tested the government policy by entering into the grounds and the police just came in and, from the account I heard, “just beat up the students and loaded them into vehicles and put them in jail! And if the young persons escape, they went to the homes and got whoever was there – father, brother, etc and will only free up these family members if the young person suspected of disobeying the law surrenders him/herself.” And I asked “But what about human rights?” I was told “No talks of human rights at this time, we have to establish first the rule of law.” I shook my head… I have talked with people around me and some say this is true, others say that the police will only get your family if you did a terrible crime. I have to confirm this with my police students up in Dare!

Last year, the relationship between the police and military were still testy (they killed each other in 2006). And this year, they seem to be doing well together. Some people think this is the better way – for people to forget what happened in the past and to go forward from here. Some people here think that a lot of work has to be done with people’s hearts and they do feel sad that things are being done only on the HEAD LEVEL. I tend to agree with the latter although I do agree that the country might not be able to take a long PAUSE and SUSPEND everything while working through people’s hearts (can we do this? Is there somewhere in this world that this was done so that HEALING can really take place before talking of … “Okay, where do we go from here?”). I wish JPL and MAN will read my blog and give me an answer hahaha.

I just came back from a two day travel to the frontier (border between Timor Leste and West Timor – the Indonesian half of the island) and helped in the evaluation process of a program that dealt with peacebuilding among the young people living along the border. As I looked out to the Indonesian part from the mountains of TL, I thought of the work already being done to bridge the relationship between neighbors. I read that the Indonesian government accepted full responsibility for the actions done by their soldiers during the 1999 burning and killings in TL. I was glad but felt uncomfortable. There was no apology that went with it. On the other hand, what good is “I am sorry” if there is no rectification and acceptance of responsibility for one’s action? I wonder what will happen next for this tiny country and its giant neighbors (to include Australia).

I have to go back to the mountains of Dare and so will have to sign off now.
Be well and blessings

From Deng in TL